Blog - Fear that people can listen what i'm thinking

I've got this thought about that people can listen to the thoughts i have, and then I want to suppress them.

Also thinking that my body will show the thoughts I have, mostly my face, so I try also to suppress my movements, thinking that whatever movements I make, people will know what i'm thinking, so I see that I try to stay very still and try to show a different image of myself in that moment.

The fear is about people rejecting me if they know what i'm actually thinking, and so i see that i'm not moving as breathe to stop thoughts, but trying to stop thoughts for people not to know what i'm thinking, trying to give an image of me.

So i can see i'm the one rejecting my thoughts. Also living for others.

This thoughts has been repeating over again, coming up again, and i've created a fear around them, so repeating this "method of suppression" where I just pretend there is nothing going on inside me to try to make others don't notice anything, but i know in that moment exactly what is going on in my mind as, mental conversations and back chat.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought: 'people can listen what i'm thinking' to the emotion of fear, instead of realising that i am the creator of my thoughts no matter if people can know them or not, the important thing is that i'm the one that has to take self responsibility for my mind, and stop the emotion of fear of exposing my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people knowing what i'm thinking because i fear that they judge me, instead of me realizing that i am the one judging me because of thinking, and that I must stop judgements towards my mind to walk this process supporting myself with the mind as a tool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear when i think something in front of people, instead of breathing, remaining here as breathe and stopping thoughts, realising that by fearing thoughts i'm fearing my mind, and using the excuse of fear to not change, while in fact fear is an excuse of the mind because the mind wants to survive, therefore, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dying as a mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the act of thinking to the emotional experience of fear, instead of allowing myself to breathe here and stop any thought that comes up, by investigating it through writing and self forgiveness.

When and as I see myself wanting to hide my mind from others, I stop, i breathe and i remain - i realise i am not my mind, yet i have to walk the process to align myself with my mind, instead of being controlled by it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thinking as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of: people will judge me because i'm thinking, instead of realising that if people judge me with their minds, it's their responsibility to stop judgements, and a judgement can never determine who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people when i perceive that they are thinking, instead of stopping judgements within myself, realising I am one and equal to others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reject my thoughts and try to suppress them, instead of seeing they are parts of me that i've separated myself from, and thus,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am secure within my thoughts when i am alone, but when i'm with people, i'm in danger because people may know what i'm thinking and i can be exposed, instead of realising that i've allowed myself to be identified with my thoughts to not take self responsibility, but to want to be directed by my mind, by allowing myself to have back chat and to participate in the secret mind when i am alone, and when i am with others too, but because i've believed i am my mind, i fear people knowing what i've become, which is me fearing to expose me and to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be directed by my mind, instead of me being the director, realising that the mind is a system that doesn't consider life.

When and as I see myself suppressing my thoughts I stop, i breathe and i remain - i do not accept or allow myself to suppress my thoughts, i realise that thoughts are parts of me that I must investigate how I created them through writing, self forgiveness and walking here as breathe, walking through whatever comes up.

When and as I see myself fearing people observing me while I'm thinking - I stop, i breathe and i remain - I realise that I am not my thoughts, and so, I stop them. I allow myself to be here realising that I am one and equal to people, and i allow me to be observed by others, stopping emotional movements inside me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear exposing my mind in front of others because of fear of rejection, instead of realising that by exposing my mind i am allowing myself to see that i'm not my mind, and that I remain here as breathe.

When and as I see myself rejecting myself because of thinking, i stop, i breathe and I remain - I do not accept or allow myself to judge my thoughts as what I've become. Instead, I face myself here with whatever comes up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire not having thoughts, and because of having them, experiencing fear, anger and frustration, instead of stopping all emotional experiences while having thoughts and breathing through them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing anger to exist within and as me because of having thoughts, instead of realising that i created thoughts, and supporting me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing frustration to exist within and as me, because of having thoughts, and believing that while I have thoughts i wont be able to have supportive relationships, instead of realising that I am the one that must first support myself in walking my process of stopping the mind, and i can support myself with other beings here in the physical to return to life and to stop living a mental reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if people knows what i'm thinking, they will be able to manipulate me, enslave me, control me and direct me, instead of me being the director and author of my life by walking my process of taking self responsibility for my mind, realising that no one can enslave me if I allow myself to bring me back here and see what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect an emotional experience of fear to a  memory of me with my partner's family, me trying to stay very rigid and still to show an image of me, not wanting to create ideas about me in others. With this, not allowing myself to express myself here as life in every breathe, compromising my body to make it fit into an idea, and inside of me having back chat about me thinking i'm strange and fearing them to see me as strange, instead of moving myself here as the physical.

When and as I see myself becoming rigid to fit into an idea, I stop, I breathe and I remain here. I do not allow myself to participate in the mind, in ideas about me. Instead i direct me here as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to allow me to be here as breathe with whatever comes up, as self trust stopping thoughts, without hiding them from me or from others, because i realise that exposing my mind to myself and others is what allows me to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people observing me while i'm thinking, because i feel intimidated, and believe that they may know what i'm thinking, instead of stopping the sensation of intimidation, which is actually me wanting to be alone thinking and feeding my mind, while I'm missing reality. I realise that to become intimate with me is to be here as breathe in self trust walking through my own creation wherever I am, with self investigation.

When and as I see myself wanting to be alone to be able to participate in thoughts - i stop, i breathe and i remain. I do not allow myself to attempt to escape from my reality through wanting to be alone thinking and abusing substance. Instead, i face myself here stopping whatever comes up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that suppressing thoughts will make them come back again stronger for me to finally face them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mind is dangerous, and with this, believing that i must fear it, instead of seeing that my mind is a tool for me to realise myself as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because I'm not without thoughts, I have to feel ashamed of myself, instead of realising that thoughts are parts of me that show me who i have accepted myself to be, and by embracing all that i've become, I can change through investigating each thought and each relationship in my mind that i've created through thoughts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear rejection from others because of me rejecting my mind, instead of embracing myself here with whatever comes up and changing to what is best for all, by not allowing myself to suppress thoughts, but to walk the corrective application and walk as breathe through thoughts, stopping them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my body movements and limit them, because of fear that people may know that I'm thinking or having back chat, because i'm limiting myself as my body and not allowing myself to change physically with my movements, and support me in stopping thoughts but wanting to suppress them with the starting point of fear of people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people, instead of realizing that I'm one and equal to people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself as my mind, instead of aligning myself as my mind by allowing me to expose my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire disappearing when I'm thinking, and try to do it by staying very still and not moving my body, just to try to give an image of me that i'm not thinking, because i've believed that if i don't think, i will be pure and people will do me favors and like me, instead of me allowing me to move my body as me, to express myself here, to not allow me to suppress myself by trying to suppress my mind. I realise that wanting to disappear is a desire of the mind to not have to face what i've created as the mind, but to just stay here abusing myself by giving an image of myself that i'm not thinking, but actually inside having back chat about everything possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if i don't think, I will be pure, instead of realizing that purity doesn't exists yet, and that by me trying to not think without self movement and self investigation on what is the nature of my thoughts, I'm just looking for a quick solution that wont stand the test of time, and will overload my mind because what I suppress in one moment, will come up later for me to face it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if people knows that I think, they wont help me or support me, instead of me stopping the desire of being helped by others, and me supporting me here in this reality and walking my process in each breathe for me, and not for others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the mind by rejecting thoughts, believing that thoughts are mean, while I'm the one who is participating in thoughts, so I realize that i must take self responsibility.

When and as I see myself wanting to be pure by not thinking, and suppressing thoughts - I stop, I breathe and I remain. I realize purity must be born from the physical, through facing each thought here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise I am one and equal to my face, and to every muscle, bone, cell, and body part, therefore, the physical is here as me for me to walk this process moving as breathe.

When and as I see myself forcing my body to stay still, to not move, to give an image to others about myself, I stop, I breathe and I remain here - I do not accept or allow myself to attempt to suppress my mind, i realise i am doing this because of rejecting my thoughts and to want to give an image about myself. Instead I allow myself to remain here as my physical body facing what is here and moving my body as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create fear around thoughts when I'm with people because of fearing people calling me crazy, strange, rare, and bizarre, instead of allowing myself to realise that I am one and equal to others. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create personalities and definitions about myself as: strange, crazy, bizarre and rare, because of not facing myself here in each breathe but wanting to suppress my mind, instead of stopping personalities and stopping definitions about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a cycle of suppression, because of not facing myself in each breathe and wanting to give an image about myself to others to pretend that nothing is going on inside of me, instead of understanding that i created this cycle through negligence, and that i can change by realising that I'm not an image, I am here facing my creation and correcting it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk process with the starting point of wanting to stop thinking to be liked by people, and to fulfill this image i have about me smiling with people around me, with friends and living a life that i believe is what is joy, instead of me walking process for myself as all as one as equal as life, and realising that joy is not an image in my mind, and that I've been always looking only for mind satisfaction.

When and as I see myself walking process to be liked by others, I stop, i breathe and I remain - I realise process is for each individual here to be walked to be born as life.

Blog - Fear of being hurt by someone

This fear has been coming up this last 3 years, where I imagine people hurting me physically in some way, taking their anger out with me, and punishing me for something.

I've seen this types of imaginations in moments like when i have some back chat about another. And because of me doing that in my mind, i perceive someone will hurt me physically, because they can somehow see my back chat and then they will have this energy directed towards me to hurt me.

Other moments are when I am speaking with people, like if it was an open space for anything to happen.

Once, I was speaking with a sculpture teacher, and i was perceiving this: that if i made a wrong movement, she would hit me, with her arm, hand or leg. 

Or with other beings, today it was with my father. I was imagining that he would hit me in my face, we were together cooking, but i started imagining that he could hit me and thinking it could be possible if he perceived i was imagining that, or if he found some reason in his mind of why he could be angry at me for something i had done.

I really have a strong sensation and perception that the other person is going to hit me somehow.

Once i was with my partner, and i was speaking to him, but i started having this energetic experience of feeling he wanted to hit me, and i started diminishing myself and becoming less and less because I was allowing me to fear this thought. I even told my partner that i feared that he could hit me, push me, kick me or hurt me, somehow, i didn't knew why, he told me that he was not going to do that, but i was now in a mind fuck possession and i thought that because of telling him, now he would think about it and because i was with this fear, he was going to react in anger towards myself being with this fear.

In my body what I experience is fear, of this happening, and in thoughts i get to imagine the event, where another is hitting me.

I fear attracting this because of my thoughts.

And at the same time, i see in my thoughts that I want to attract this, because it seems easier to be hurt physically and punished than stopping thoughts and breathing through the energy.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an 'i fear people hurting me physically' character, when i am faced with people that i perceive that they don't like something about me, and within this, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that i am accepting and allowing myself to believe in perceptions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing being beside others as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of: people is going to hurt me physically, instead of allowing myself to be here embracing me here as the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect being with people to the thought: 'people is going to hurt me physically', instead of remaining here as breath and stopping participation in the mind while being with others, taking each breathe as an opportunity to realise i am here as a physical being on earth.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to imagine my father hitting me, because i think he's got reasons to be angry at me, justifying violence and abuse, instead of realising that participating in emotions as anger is not acceptable, and that i must stop this allowance within myself, which i am reflecting in others and thinking that others can hurt me, because i have allowed myself to hurt me when i participate in emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my father wanting to hurt me physically, because i have allowed fear to control me, instead of me stopping fear in each breathe and not allowing myself to participate in fear.

When and as i see myself participating in emotions - i stop, i breathe and i remain. I do not allow myself to justify emotions or participation in emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people has got reasons to be angry and to participate in anger and to be violent with themselves or with others, instead of realising that anger as an emotion is created by the mind and must be stopped starting by me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if something goes wrong or goes in a way which was not planned, one must become mad and angry, and hit things, people or hurt someone or oneself, instead of realising the abuse in this and that if something doesn't go how it was planned, one has to find a solution that considers all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create punishment, instead of realising i am one and equal to all that exists, and that life has to be born and supported, stopping punishment within myself and allowing myself to birth myself here as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that one can justify anger, instead of realising that anger as an emotion exists within the mind, therefore it's not real, and it's not one and equal to life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i must be punished because of doing things that do not support life, instead of remaining here as breathe as self trust that i am changing and that i am not allowing anything less than life.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear my teacher hurting me physically when i was speaking to her, and creating anxiety, instead of stopping, breathing and not allowing the mind to direct me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the thought: 'my partner wants to hurt me physically' when i was speaking with him at home, instead of remaining as breathe, not allowing fear to direct me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear the thought: 'my partner wants to hurt me physically', to became real.

I see, realize and understand that what i resist, persists, and that resisting fear is just creating it. Therefore, i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear, instead of realizing that fear is just a mind creation that i am able to stop in each breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people hurting me, because i believe they will take their anger towards me, instead of me being here as breathe and not allowing fear to control me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if i imagine that someone will hurt me, it will happen, and to exist within that fear, instead of realising that i am creating that through my mind and i am the one participant that must stop.

When and as I see myself imagining that people wants to hurt me by kicking me, hitting me, pushing me or punishing me, i stop, i breathe and i remain - i do not allow myself to participate in my mind in imagining suffering and pain towards myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people kicking me, hitting me, pushing me, because i perceive they will do it in situations where they loose control - instead of breathing and remaining here as breathe aware in every moment, not allowing energy to control me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself with the thought 'people is going to hurt me physically' because i am allowing fear to direct me, and i'm compromising my relationships and changing my behavior to where i feel i can defend myself, under fear, and without allowing me to be here as breathe, instead of stopping thoughts and communicating with people here physically understanding that physical abuse is in no way acceptable and that if someone was to hurt me, i am able to not allow such a thing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be the one that hurt me, with thoughts of fear which compromises my participation here on earth therefore my positioning as my life, because i'm not walking as one and equal as all, but creating separation through fear of being hurt physically by others, instead of realizing that i am the one that must stop self abuse and abuse on earth, and that this thought is not real, so i can stop and change in one breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hurt people when i am speaking to them and  i have a thought about hurting them, then i feel i want to hurt them and so i fear that people wants to do the same, instead of stopping violence within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people's minds, because i believe that people can go mad at any given moment, and can hurt me physically, instead of me stopping my mind and directing myself, realizing that sorting myself out is the first step to be able to correct this reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people is always planning how to hurt another, instead of seeing how i am allowing that to exist and stopping it, by realising that i am one and equal to all that exists and that by hurting me and others and allowing that to exist, i am hurting life and creating a deeper separation from life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i must fear when people thinks, and that i must fear when people goes into their minds, instead of me seeing that i am allowing myself to fear my mind as i am one and equal to all, and realising that i am here and aligning myself as my mind as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing physical abuse to exist, and to believe that i must fear people that hurt and abuse others, or any person who's got a mind, instead of realizing that i am one and equal to the mind and to everything that exists, and that i am the one who must stop physical abuse within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create separation to all that exists and therefore accepting people to live in their separate bubbles while i live in mine, allowing me to take anger towards others when i go out of control, and fearing people to do the same onto me, instead of realizing that i am one and equal to every being and that i am the one that first have to stop living in a bubble.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i must live under control or under mind guidance, because of believing that if i am not under control, i will loose myself, and go out of control - and will be dangerous, instead of realising that i am self control as self trust and that i must birth myself as life, through not allowing myself to fear going out of control, because i've already lived out of control of things, and i've always been dangerous to all as myself, therefore, by stopping fear and stopping the mind, i am the one in control, as life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that to want to be under control is to want to live in self interest, and if something goes in a way that i don't like, i justify going out of control, instead of remaining here as breathe and realising that self interest does not considers all, as ego just wants what the mind dictates, and that self control is where i am aware here as breathe and make decisions that considers all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i must fear people who moves fast, instead of realising i am one and equal to movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i have to be very cautious about my movements, because if i do some movements that the other person dislikes, i will be in danger, and him/ her will hurt me physically because of disliking my movements, instead of allowing myself to move my body as self movement and stop judgements towards my movements or the movements of others, realising that the mind will want to find means to create reactions, and that if i react, i am participating in the mind, therefore, when and as i see myself reacting towards the movements of others or my movements, i stop, i breathe and i remain - i do not allow myself to react to movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my movements because of fear that other people may dislike them, instead of enjoying my own movements and enjoying people's physical movements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect people's movements to the thought: they are going to hurt me physically, instead of   realising that with this i am allowing myself to live a pre-programmed life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is ok to hurt someone physically if one dislikes the movements of that person, instead of realising that likes and dislikes from the mind will pretend to justify abuse, and that to stop physical abuse from likes or dislikes, i must realise i am one and equal to all that exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take anger out towards others instead of remaining here as breathe and not allowing anger to control me.

When and as i see myself  believing that people wants to hurt me physically because they are in anger inside themselves, i stop, i breathe and i remain here as breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i speak too much or in bad moments and that people don't like listening to me, so they can possibly hurt me, instead of realizing that this fear is self created and that i am limiting myself by believing that people thinks that i speak too much or in bad moments, because with this i am participating in creating energy of fear of people getting tired at me, and accepting an energetical movement such as hurting someone else just because one is not taking self responsibility for one's own mind.

I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing perceptions about what others may think about me, is accepting myself to judge parts of me and to separate myself from others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be here as breathe and realize that i am one and equal to all that exists.

When and as i speak with others - i do not accept or allow myself to attempt to escape from my reality through thinking that others are going to hurt me physically. I face my current reality and take self responsibility for who i am in each moment with whom i am with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear because i think that people wants to hit me, i now see, realize and understand that by accepting back chat within and as myself where i think that people wants to hurt me physically, I am allowing myself to be controlled by back chat and fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow the back chat: people wants to hurt me physically, in an attempt to threaten myself, to not stand up as breathe in each moment but to hold myself back.

I now see, realize and understand that by accepting the back chat: 'people wants to hurt me physically', i am accepting limitations within and as myself through fearing people's minds and movements, and that i am compromising myself.

When and as i see myself giving attention to the back chat of: 'people wants to harm me or hurt me physically', i stop, i breathe and i do not accept or allow myself to give attention to back chat. Instead, I embrace me here as the moment.

I realize that by giving power to this thoughts, i'm giving my power away to the mind and allowing fear to control, move and direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the secret mind to exist as a director in my life, instead of me being the directive principle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create fear to people's minds, instead of realizing i am one and equal to my mind as each one is, and by me realizing this i am able to help others, but first i have to walk my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of someone near me hurting me physically, where i fall down and the other person diverts his anger towards me - to exist within and as me, and to connect this image to the emotional experience of fear.

And within this i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by allowing this images within and as me, i am diminishing myself by living my preprogramed life, instead of me choosing what's best for all in every moment.

When and as i see myself imagining people hurting me with their body, i stop, i breathe and i remain - i don't accept or allow fear to direct or control me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of me being hurt by a bigger boy when i was a child, to the thought of: 'people wants to hurt me physically', instead of realizing that i am not my memories and that by believing this thought i am wanting to validate it as real and creating an experience of fear, and wanting to repeat a cycle, instead of stopping it.

When and as i see myself participating in fear of being hurt physically, i stop, i breathe and i remain here as breathe. I do not allow myself to give my power to the mind through thinking that people wants to hurt me. Instead, I remain here stopping any energetic movement inside of me.

When and as I see someone moving very fast - I stop, I breathe and I do not accept or allow myself to attempt to threaten myself through thinking that the other person can hurt me physically, thinking that I am an energetic being who is in fear. Instead, I breathe through it and allow myself to be here as breathe as my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire attracting physical abuse towards myself, because of believing it is easier for me to be punished and hurt phisically than stopping thoughts and breathing through the energy, instead of realising that being hurt physically wont change anything, it will only abuse more the physical, and that i am the only one who can stop my thoughts and my mind, through walking my process, facing everything that comes up, no matter what.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be hurt physically and physically abused, because i've believed that it is something that will help me to understand that I must change, instead of realising that i must stop violence within myself to stop it in this world, and this is done through a process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application, not through physical abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is easier to be punished than to change, because i've separated myself from the process, walking process because i believe I have to, but not realising it is for me as life as all, not an obligation for something outside of me, but for and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be hurt physically because i don't want to take self responsibility for my mind, but instead want to keep on creating energy, instead of realising that self responsibility is when i face all of my creations and direct them.

When and as I see myself thinking that I want to be hurt physically, I stop, I breathe and I remain - I do not accept or allow myself to desire hurting my physical. I realise that hurting the physical body does not change this reality, it neither support one to realise oneself. Instead, i walk my process here breathing and walking my writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application.

Blog - Feeling sad because I don't have lots of friends

This thought:
'I am sad because I did not create friendships when I was younger'

Comes up mostly when i am observing other beings with friends, on facebook for example, where they are smiling with many friends, and i feel sorry for myself and self pity, because of me not having lots of friends, and because i did not create supportive friendships throughout my life.

Here i see i have created regret because of not having created supportive relationships but because i see how i have been with people just because of fear of being alone. I have wanted to speak with many beings but i haven’t allowed myself to do it. And i have participated in lots of judgement towards myself because of not being around more people, but spending many time alone.

Also some type of jealousy, and comparison.

Seeing me as someone very cool to be with, as a nice person but because i have participated so much in back Chat and in actions that haven't considered me or others, i spend lots of time by myself.

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that i am a sad person because I did not create friendships when I was younger.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to connect seeing people together to the thought ‘I am a loner, and a sad person because I did not create friendships when I was younger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing seeing people together to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of: i am a loner and a sad being because I did not create friendships when I was younger.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to connect seeing people in facebook to the thought: i am a loner because i don’t have enough friends.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect seeing people together with the emotional experience of self pitty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing regret because of not having created friendships, to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing jealousy because of seeing people together and me alone, to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comparison when seeing people together.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing judgements towards myself and others to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because i have participated in lots of back chat and acting without considering anything, I must be alone.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire having many friends because i believe that if i have many friends, I will be happier.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire creating mind relationships instead of creating supportive relationships.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to regret the past because i see i have failed to see that the way to change self interested relationships is through creating supportive agreements with people, but instead i have participated in fear of communicating with others because i am actually fearing to communicate with me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing desire of having friends to exist within me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sadness to exist within me, justifying it with the thought: i am a loner, and a sad person because i did not create friendships when I was younger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire of being young again and changing the past to exist within me, instead of accepting the past and correcting me here as breathe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing anxiety to exist within me, justifying it with the thought of ‘i don’t have many friends and i am a loner, and having no friends means that one will be sad’. Instead of remaining here as breath and walking my process to rebirth myself as life to create supportive relationships based on what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of not having friends to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of speaking openly to others to exist within me.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of communicating openly as me to exist within me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because i did not create friendships when i was younger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of sadness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of ‘i don’t have friends’ to an emotional experience of sadness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the thought of ‘i don’t have friends’ to an emotional experience of anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of anxiety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being seen as someone insecure and fearful.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated because i realise i can’t live alone without speaking to anyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be anxious because i realise that meeting people and creating supportive relationships means that i am exposing myself, and not living through personalities, and because i have never allowed myself to express myself as life, i believe i can’t communicate with others without personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i can't communicate with others without personalities of the mind.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be anxious because i don’t want to face my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to open myself and expose myself with people.

The Word ‘Joy +’ comes up, with a positive value, linked to images of me with people being happy together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the Word joy with a positive value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the Word joy as good, positive and right within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word joy through judging it as good, positive and right.

Imagining me laughing with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'joy' to an image of me laughing with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'joy' within an imagination of me laughing with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'joy' and from others through defining the Word 'joy' within others in separation of myself.

Holidays / free time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to holidays and free time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within holidays and free time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from holidays and free time through defining the word 'joy' within holidays and free time in separation of myself.

Dancing at a party

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to an image of me dancing at a party.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within an image of me dancing at a party.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from dancing through defining the word 'joy' within dancing at a party in separation of myself.

Being at the nature

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to a Picture in my mind of me being at the nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within a Picture in my mind of me being at the nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from the nature through defining joy within nature in separation of myself.

Listening to music

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to listening to music.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within the action of listening to music.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from listening to music through defining joy within listening to music in separation of myself.

Being with my boyfriend

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to the action of being with my partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within the action of me being with my partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from the action of me being with my parter through defining joy within the action of me being with my partner in separation of myself.

Having sex

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from having sex through defining joy within having sex in separation of myself.

Being with people

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to being with people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within the action of being with people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from being with people through defining joy within the action of me being with people in separation of myself.

The memory of me playing with other kids

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to the memory of me playing with other kids.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within the memory of me playing with other kids.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from the action of playing through defining joy within the memory of me playing with other kids in separation of myself.

The memory of me eating candies

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word 'joy' to the memory of me eating candies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word 'joy' within the memory of me eating candies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'joy' and from candies through defining joy within the memory of me eating candies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of me being at a park with many people, near a swimming pool, with trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day, to exist within and as me. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect this Picture of me being at a park with many people with a swimming pool, trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day, to the thought: ‘If I had many friends i could enjoy myself’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect joy, confidence and trust to a picture in my mind of me being at a park with many people with a swimming pool, trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words joy, confidence and trust within a picture in my mind of me being at a park with many people with a swimming pool, trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I require to be surrounded by people at a park with a swimming pool, trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day for me to be and experience joy, confidence and trust. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from joy, confidence and trust through defining the words in separation of myself within a picture in my mind of me being at a park with many people with a swimming pool, trees and chairs, with blue sky and a shiny day.

I am remembering a time when i was small, i was at school with some girls and they were speaking, but i was in silence, i remember thinking: i am too quiet, and i am ashamed and i don’t like myself.

I was 8. 

-Age 8

-Being with girls from school

-at school, in the classroom. 

-Being quiet.

-The experience: feeling ashamed because i was not speaking and i didn’t liked myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of me being quiet at school, in the classroom, as a child, with the experience that I was ashamed and i didn’t like myself, to the thought of ‘“I am a sad person because i did not create friendships when i was younger”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory me being quiet at school, in the classroom, as a child, with the experience that I was ashamed and i didn’t like myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my freedom of being here within a memory me being quiet at school, in the classroom, as a child, with the experience that I was ashamed and i didn’t like myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my freedom of  being here through defining my freedom of being here within a memory of me being quiet at school, in the classroom, as a child, with the experience that I was ashamed and i didn’t like myself, in separation of myself. 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that I am here in every moment of breath.

Blog - Me singing

Many times when i’m singing, I am enjoying myself as my voice, what i sing and the way I sing it. But there are other times when the back Chat is huge in those moments. 
Thoughts come up, like:


“I sing so beautiful, almost perfect. I want to be famous”.


When i was a child i remember singing in front of a group of people. I didn't felt much ego. But when i grew up, watching mtv and famous people, and then I met a boy who wanted me to sing in his group. I sang in front of a public two times. But i didn't 'open' myself and i believe i didn't 'take the oportunity' of singing there because i was busy wanting to be in a relationship with this guy. So when the relationship ended, i then sang at home, alone, and this was the back chat: i want to be famous, i sing beautiful, i would like to have taken those oportunities to be famous.


Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that my voice is beautiful and perfect and that i should be famous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sadness because i can’t open my jaw extremely or force it to sing more specific notes.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to connect listening to my voice to the thought ‘my voice is so beautiful that i should be famous’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing listening to my voice as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought of: my voice is beautiful and i should be famous.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to connect listening to my voice to the thought ‘i could sing better if my jaw is healthier'.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to connect listening to my jaw sounding to the thought: i am sad because my jaw is not perfectly healthy and i can’t sing better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that because i am not singing in a group and in front of others, i have to feel sad because i am not expressing myself.

Within the self forgiveness I am seeing a desire of being famous and of recognition and emotions like sadness, frustration, resentment and fear:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire being famous with my voice and singing.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire recognition for the way i sing. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the desire and want to be a famous singer to exist within me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire being a famous singer and because of not living that desire, experiencing fear, sadness, frustration and resentment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing frustration because i am not a famous singer and i haven’t fulfilled that desire.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed resentment for not having participated in a musical group to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sadness because of not being a famous singer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing sadness to exist within me, using the excuse of not being a famous singer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing resentment to exist within me for not being a famous singer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to exist within me with the excuse and justifiction of fearing death and not being famous while being on earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comparison to exist within me with the excuse and justification that i am not famous while others sing in musical groups.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to connect the thought ‘my voice is beautiful, i should be famous’ to an emotional experience of disappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within and emotional experience of dissappointment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to connect the thought ‘my voice is beautiful, i should be famous’ to an emocional experience of fear of not being famous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to connect the thought ‘ i should be a famous singer’ to an emotional experience of regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within an emotional experience of regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i have to be famous to do something in my life, because i believe that if i don’t do it, i will never achieve my dreams, without realizing i preprogrammed myself to believe this to search for mind illusions to live as energy without seeing that i am here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of regret because i realice that i am not able to change the past and sing in the past, but that here in each breathe i can manifest what is best for me as for all, to stop participating in fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disappointed because i don’t want to face myself in each breath, but remaining thinking about the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to remain thinking about the past and feeling sad because i didn’t sing.

I see that i am able to be here and sing here. Wanting to sing and having emotional experiences (positive and negative), and memories about it, is me not allowing me to be here as breathe and allowing me to express myself here.
Also wanting to be famous, is like wanting a quick solucion for my economics. Also, wanting recognition, which means i am not recognizing myself here as life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of regret because i realice that within that i am not allowing myself to birth myself here and change here, singing here as breathe and supporting my physical body as myself to be here, stable, and be one and equal as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotional experience of anxiety because i realice there’s not much posibilities for me to survive to death, so what i do here in each breathe is what determines who i am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an emotional experience of comparison.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comparison to exist within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotional experience of sadness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotional experience of frustration.



Writing this self forgiveness I identify that the words that come up are:


Expression +

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word 'Expression' with a postive value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word 'expression' as good, positive and right within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word 'expression' through judging the word 'expression' as good, positive and right.

A memory of me singing in front of people

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' to the a memory of me singing in front of people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within memory of me singing in front of people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' and from singing through defining 'expression' within memory of me singing in front of people.


A memory of me dancing at a party

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' to a memory of me dancing at a party.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within a memory of me dancing at a party.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' and from dancing through defining 'expression' within a memory of me dancing at a party.


A memory of me acting in front of others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' a memory of me acting in front of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within a memory of me acting in front of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' and from acting through defining 'expression' within a memory of me acting in front of others.



A picture in my mind of me communicating with new people

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' to a picture in my mind of me communicating with new people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within a picture in my mind of me communicating with new people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' and from communication through defining 'expression' within a picture in my mind of me communicating with new people.

A picture in my mind of me being famous

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' to a picture in my mind of me being famous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within a picture in my mind of me being famous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' through defining 'expression' within a picture in my mind of me being famous.





Painting a canvas

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the Word 'expression' to the action of painting a canvas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the Word 'expression' within the action of painting a canvas.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the Word 'expression' and from painting through defining 'expression' within the action of painting a canvas.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of a scenario with other musicians, instruments and microphones, where I am singing and dancing, with public in front also dancing and observing me– to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect this image of a scenario with instruments and microphones where i am singing and dancing with other musicians in front of people whom are dancing and observing, to the thought: If only i could be famous, i could express myself, enjoy myself and be secure in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect security, joy and expression to a picture in my mind of a scenario with instruments and microphones, with other musicians, where I am in the middle, singing and dancing, with public in front also dancing and observing us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words security, joy and expression within a picture in my mind of a scenario with instruments in it and microphones, and I am in the middle singing and dancing with public in front of me whom are also dancing and observing me and the other musicians.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I require to be within a group singing and dancing in an scenario with instruments and microphones, where i am in the middle in front of people whom are also dancing and observing us, for me to be and experience security, joy and expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from security, joy and expression.

------
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a picture of a scenario with other musicians, instruments and microphones, where I am singing and dancing, with public in front also dancing and observing me– to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect this image of a scenario with instruments and microphones where i am singing and dancing with other musicians in front of people whom are dancing and observing, to the thought: If only i could be famous, I could express myself, enjoy myself and be secure in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect security, joy and expression to a picture in my mind of a scenario with instruments and microphones, with other musicians, where I am in the middle, singing and dancing, with public in front also dancing and observing us.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the words security, joy and expression within a picture in my mind of a scenario with instruments in it and microphones, and I am in the middle singing and dancing with public in front of me whom are also dancing and observing me and the other musicians.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I require to be within a group singing and dancing in an scenario with instruments and microphones, where i am in the middle in front of people whom are also dancing and observing us, for me to be and experience security, joy and expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from security, joy and expression.


I am remembering a time when i was small, i was singing at a trip with people i just met, and they told me that i was singing very well, and that i should sing at night in front of them, and i did it. I was 9.
When the trip ended, a man told my mother that one day in the future i would be famous.


-Age 9
-Singing a song i had learned at school llamada 'Lean on me'
-In the trip, surrounded by nature with people i just met.
-Singing in front of others by myself
-The experience: opening myself alone in front of others


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a memory of me singing as a kid in front of people in a trip to Villa de leyva, a song i learned from the school called: ‘Lean on me’, with the experience that I could express myself in front of others, to the thought of ‘I sing beautiful and i should be famous’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of me me singing as a kid in front of people in a trip to Villa de leyva, a song i learned from the school called: ‘Lean on me’, with the experience that I could express myself in front of others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my expression within a memory of me singing as a kid in front of people in a trip to Villa de leyva, a song i learned from the school called: ‘Lean on me’, with the experience that I could express myself in front of other.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my self- expression through defining my self- expression within a memory of me singing as a kid in front of people in a trip to Villa de leyva, a song i learned from the school called: ‘Lean on me’, with the experience that I could express myself in front of other, in separation of myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that freedom is here as me in every moment of breath.

2012 Expression of Eternal Love

  

“Love Never Dies… We are All an Eternal Expression of Love"

Is the delusional phrase of hope and illusion given by a psychic that sends messages of Light and love to people only to make money. Because then people, without even understanding what this means, puts all their energy on this subjects, so they spend lots of money buying books that speaks about this nonsensical theme, and they buy the law of attraction, and go and think: love, love, love, everywhere, oh i’m love, i’m Light oh…

Why would people want to be love with such an urge?

Because we are not living ourselves for real in this World, if we don’t take care not even for ourselves, less for our neighbour. Humanity is pretending we care by donating or praying. While the cycle continues and people instead of investigating REALITY and participating in a definite solution such as it is to participate in the Desteni group and the Equal Money For All from Birth to Death,  people go and spend the energy and money in this inventions that can’t be measured in this reality, and that is obvious self interest without considering all.

Let’s look at why:

First: Love never dies…

Who die are the billions of people that don’t have money… but not love(?) Well this invention of the mind we are sustaining with giving our attention to it and creating it, and supporting the inequality where some have love ( Love = money? ) and others have just nothing. Because those who are busy closing their eyes to reality and wanting to live in a bubble of an energy they created called love which will end up killing them… they are taking that energy from the rest of the World.

They don’t care how much books are written and how many trees have to be killed to create this books…

And not only books. Movies are made about this supposed love!

If we were an eternal expression of love, no suffering would be happening. We are slaves of a system and we have to come back to reality. One of the main steps is to stop this delusion called Love, because we utilize that Word as if we live it, while we only want to preserve our created lifes of “lies”.

If we really look into our minds we’ll see that our thoughts, which are parts from ourselves we’re not yet directing, goes up and down, jumping all around, and they are not specially lovely, i mean we can have the illusions if we think about it, but we’ll see that they become deceptive and turn around and we’ll have experiences where we’ll face the polarities of our thoughts where we’ve participated, for us to realise they are not real.

So before it’s too late and the cloud of eternal love turns into a storm, we have to put our feet on Earth and take self responsibility and not allow anything less from us and form others, because the reason why we are still allowing this is because we’ve always wanted to feed this energy in us and to believe that the World will turn pink if we think about love and if we believe we’re an expression of love.

Let’s see now at this: we are the expression of love…

So then love is really evil, no?

Because what is manifested in the World is not a pretty Picture.

Really, take a look...

Of course you’ll see some things to argue that the World is beautiful.

But the expression of us as Humanity has resulted in a Freaking Hell Show, the inequality is in us and is what’s making the World speed everyday and making everyone search for more money to survive in this concrete jungle.

Check this video: Concrete Jungle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiz7YcAjZyQ

Investigate www.desteni.org to really live love.

And an Equal Money System